saiyuki's next mr handsome
by peggysan
Summary: this is not really good...ok..what if the saiyuki casts were in a contest where they have to take pictures and get along with their enemies!
1. Chapter 1

Peggysan:hi! Again,you know why I always make stories even though I didn't finish the others? Because I might forget the Ideas! And besides, you guys can review me. Oh, please do that! The more I get the faster I'll make them! And I don't own saiyuki.

**Saiyuki's next mr.handsome**:

Yaone: konnichiwa minna-san! Im your host and-

Lirin: me!

Yaone: yes, ms.lirin, ok now we're your host for saiyuki's next mr.handsome and our contestants are, Dr.Ni,kougaiji.dokugakuji,hakkai,sanzo,goku,gojyo and homura! (loud applause)

Yaone: who should be mr. handsome?

One of the audience:SANZO!

One of the audience: NO! GOKU!

One of the audience: KOUGAIJI!

Yaone: lets find out! Ms. Lirin?

Lirin:( eating meat bun)..munch,munch..huh?oh yeah!

I shall be your photographer in all of your pictorials!

Sanzo: why her? And why im in this friggin contest!

Yaone: gomen naisai! Sanzo-san it's the fan's decision. Your one of the handsome guy list…

Sanzo: (cursing)

Yaone:(sweatdrop)ok! our judges are ms. Gyokumen, ms.kanzeon, ms.lirin and me!

Yaone:now our first pictorial: the guys are going to be photographed in their normal clothes, and we'll see who's a natural photogenic.

Lirin: im ready! Lets start with oni-chan!

Kougaiji goes to picture stand.

Lirin: smile onichan!(kougaiji smiling) _CLICK!_

Lirin: ok! Next is..dokugakuji!

(dokugakuji smiling) _CLICK!_

Lirin:next is Dr. Ni!

(dr. ni..smiling slyly)

Lirin:…._CLICK!_

Lirin:hhm…baldy!

Sanzo: urusai!

Lirin:…smile!

Sanzo: yeah, right!

Lirin:yaone-san he's not smiling!

Yaone: sanzo-san, please cooperate.

Sanzo:..make me!

Yaone: (sigh) mr. koumyo!

Koumyo: kouryu, cooperate!

Sanzo:..M-master?

Lirin: kouryu!

Koumyo: yes.yes they told me about it and I agreed.

Sanzo: why?

Koumyo: they gave me many big and regular papers for me to make into paper airplanes!

Sanzo: _(sigh) DUMB CONTEST! DUMB FREAKI'N PAPER AIRPLANES!_

(sanzo smiling)

….everyone shocked, seeing sanzo smiling like that!.

T.v. viewers: OH MI GOSH! HE'S SOO HANDSOME!

Sanzo:did I do anything?..lirin!

Lirin:_he's real name is kouryu?.._ huh? Oh! Sorry do it again!

(sanzo smiling) _CLICK!_

T.V. veiwers: he's so hot when he does that!

Lirin: ok! Next is hakkai!

(hakkai smiling) _click!_

Lirin:_its so boring seeing hakkai smile like that!_

Lirin: gojyo!

(gojyo smiling)_CLICK!_

Lirin:next is..(blushing) g-goku!

Goku: sugoi!

(goku smiling childishly)_click!_

T.V. viewers: AAHH! HE'S SOOO KAWAII! GOKU I LOVE YOU!

Lirin: SHUT UP! HE'S MINE!

….everyone shocked!..

Lirin: uh-oh…(blushing..)

Goku: nani? ..wait! I don't understand!

Gojyo:good thing he's a baka saru!

Goku: hey!

Lirin: (in a fast nervous speed) next homura!(heart beating fast)

Homura:why am I here again?

Lirin: just smile!

(homura smiling)_click!_

Lirin: done, meatbun!

Yaone: (sweatdrop) he, here you go ms. Lirin.

Yaone & lirin: see you next time!

Peggysan: that's it! Im not good at making stories huh…but I'll do my best! To make stories even though their not good..sayonara!


	2. Chapter 2

peggysan:konnichiwa! im doing my best in thinking about this! but its kinda hard my sched is tight! anyway.

in judging...

kanzeon:hhmm...i say, kougaiji is pretty goodlooking! lirin, do you have his cell number?

lirin:...NO!

kanzeon:ok,ok your bro's a natural!

gyokumen: its the first time i saw my horrid step -son **this** hot!

lirin:..(backing away from her mother)

yoane: ok! kougaiji-sama's in!

lirin:YAY!

kanzeon: uuhh..who is this again?

yaone: that's dokugakuji.

kanzeon: long name, he's not that handsome really.

gyokumen: he's as ugly as his face!

silence...

lirin:uh, i dont get it?

yoane:(sigh) gomen nasai dokugakuji your out

kanzeon: why, homura has a great smile!

gyokumen: you can say that again!

kanzeon:uh..why, homura has a great smile!

gyokumen: not literally!

sanzo:who's the mr. handsome anyway?

homura: i dont know, but im sure im gonna win this contest!

kougaiji:WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT!

sanzo:...(confused)

gojyo:if anybody's winning here! that will be me! ME! THE ALMIGHTY PLAYBOY GOJYO! MWAHAHAHAHA! FEAR ME!

sanzo kougaiji and homura:...(sweatdrop)

sanzo: whats the prize anyway!

homura and kougaiji: YOU DONT KNOW THE PRIZE!

homura: your a monk and you dont know the prize?

kougaiji: the prize is one wish, anything you wish for will be granted.

sanzo: what are you gonna wish if you win?

kougaiji:WORLD DOMINATION! AND MY SERVANTS WILL GIVE ME ALL THE W.I.T.C.H MAG! including the special editions MWAHAHAHA!

sanzo,homura and gojyo:...W.I.T.C.H!

sanzo:_am i the only one here who is not interested in this freakin contest!_

paper airplanes flying all around!

sanzo:what the-

koumyo: WWEEEEE!HAHAHAHIHI WEEE! FLY PAPER AIRPLANES FLY!

sanzo:_great, my master is now obsessed with stupid PAPER AIRPLANES! _OW! what! stupid paper cuts! i-im bleedin!..(collapsed)

peggysan: there! im running out of ideas for now!

sanzo: what are you doing! me? mr. handsome? in a stupid contest!

peggysan:sanzo! i love you!(hugging sanzo)

sanzo: alright ,alright stop the hugging! it burns!

hehehe...bye!


	3. Chapter 3

Peggysan:konnichiwa minna-san! Ok im kinda busy and im doing my best to go school to use the internet.now that our summer classes is over its hard for me, but at least theres swimming! Good thing our swimming practice is everyday in the morning, then MWF in the afternoon so I can still make it! You know, the one who said that I was going to make them wear swim wear, I think im gonna do that in the future chapters, thanks for the suggestion! Ok..once again I don't own saiyuki! I mean its fan fiction! What part of _fanfiction _they don't get! Ok...go story!

**Saiyuki's next mr.handsome:**

Yaone:what happened?

Goku: yeah what happened to sanzo! Who did this I oughta –

Gojyo: relax the monk got a paper cut then he fainted.

Dr. ni: he was trying to steal my bunny!

Kougaiji: no he wasn't!

Dr ni: …but he was gonna

Yaone: uh…sanzo-san! Are you okay? (poking sanzo with a pen)

Sanzo: (opening eyes) uuhh what happened ? did I win!

Yaone : no, you just fainted.

Koumyo: kouryo? Stop playin dead! Its just a little paper cut!

Sanzo: (standing up) im fine, im just gonna go to the bathroom.

Yaone:be back in ten minutes were going to start the elimination round ok?

Sanzo: whatever! _Stupid paper airplanes! Stupid paper cut! Stupid twisted contest!_

During the elimination round…

Lirin: ok! When I call your names poke yourselves and die, then the one standing left must not breath!

……

Yaone:uh, ms. Lirin that's not right.

Lirin: are you sure? It says right here-

Kanzeon: HAHAHAHA! PHSYCE!

Yaone: ms kanzeon!

Kanzeon:ok,ok here (giving the real paper to lirin)

Lirin: oh..ok, when I call your names come in front. The one left will be eliminated. The winner of the natural photogenic is homura!

Homura: I won? Yay! I won!

Lirin: b- I mean sanzo won second, kougaiji third, then, hakkai and goku!

Dokugakuji is eliminated.

Dokugakuji:YAY! WOOHOO! I WON!

Gyokumen: ..dokugakuji! eliminated means your OUT! YOU LOST!

Dokugakuji:…and that's a bad thing?

Gyokumen and kanzeon: YES!

Dokugakuji: aw man, bye guys!

Yaone: gomen nasai doku-sama!

Dokugajuji: its alright, I don't wanna be girl anyway!

Homura, sanzo and kougaiji: A GIRL?

Dokugajuji: oopsie!..hehe I mean I don't wanna have a girl!

Goku: …so your pregnant?

Dokugakuji: ouch! No!

Sanzo: no, wait you said you don't wanna be a girl! Were gonna dress up as sissies!

Yaone:doku!..im sorry but..(gulp) in the next pictorial you guys are dressing up as girls…with make up.

Hakkai: YEESS!...uh I mean NNOO! YOU CANT DO THIS! IM TOO HANDSOME TO BE A GIRL YET!

Gojyo: (putting his arms around hakkai) so..you really wanna be a girl then huh, I can do that.

Hakkai: really? How?

--NOO! Sorry guys I cant continue to type, its too..im not a bad girl! But I don't know where I got this! (sigh) nah! I'll type it anyway—

Gojyo: ya know..

Hakkai: eeww.. gojyo noo! _Hm..maybe _your so gross I thought you were straight?

Gojyo: (whispering in ear) im a bi..

Sanzo: I knew you were gay!

Gojyo: am not!

Yaone: uh please don't-

Lirin: gojyo's gay?

Yaone: uh, no?

Lirin: hhmm…I got it!..uh, whats gay? Is it food!

Goku: food? WHERE! Im hungry!

_BANG!_

Silence…..

Kanzeon: nephew! Temper! Temper!

Sanzo: im not your stupid nephew!

Gyokumen: (polishing nails, then sighing) can we start the pictorial now? Im bored.

Yaone: hai, gyokumen-san alright guys! Homura I hate to say this but shien and zenon are your make up artists!

Homra: wha-

Koumyo: and im the one who chooses your dresses!..hm, you know kouryu, you might look good in a yellow dress!

Sanzo:_calm down…he's your master..a very creepy, master, do not shoot him in the head…_

Koumyo:..kouryu are you planning to shoot me in the head?

Sanzo: what? No! why would I do that!

Koumyo: your pointing the gun to me, exactly in my head.

Sanzo: oh! Its..uh..lets start the pictorial!

* * *

Dr. ni: are you sure I look good in red lipstick?

Shien: stop complaining! Or I'll whip your ass!

Dr.ni: (to his bunny doll) don't worry he's just jealous cause I look good in red lipstick.

Shien: I heard that!

* * *

Sanzo:why do I have to wear make up and a stupid yellow dress!

Zenon: hm, you look exactly like a girl!

Sanzo: URUSAI! (pointing gun at zenon)

Zenon: im leaving, im leaving! Goku your next!

* * *

Goku: can I use skin color lip gloss?

Zenon: no. im make up artist here!

Goku: (sigh) can I lick the grape lip gloss?

Zenon: no! now be still!

* * *

Shien: now, what am I going to do to you?

Hakkai: can I make _myself_ up? Im good at colors!

Shien: ok, I'll go to homura

* * *

Homura: touch me and you'll never see tomorrow.

Shien:…(sweatdrop) ok…you just do it yourself.

Zenon: I'll have to put foundation to make your face lighter.

Gojyo: what am I gonna wear?

Koumyo: white tank top and sexy shorts!..better shave!

Gojyo: man!

* * *

Shien: you look good in pink lip gloss!

Kougaiji: I'll never look at myself in the mirror looking like a girl..

Shien: wow, kougaiji, uh wanna go out with me?

Kougaiji: DIE!

* * *

Pictorial on a sunny meadow!...

(the guys coming )

Lirin: WHOA! You guys are like,..america's next top model or something!

Yaone:ok! We'll be taking your pictures now! First is hakkai-san!(giving hakkai a basket of flowers)

Hakkai:so im just gonna pose here?

Yaone: hai! Be sure the uh..wig doesn't cover your face!

_Click!_

Hakkai: _Man, I really feel pretty in this dress_

Lirin: wow, Yaone-san they really look a lot like girls!

Yaone: yes, zenon and shien are good artists! And mr. koumyo is a good fashion designer, I love the yellow dress of sanzo-san!

Lirin took pictures of gojyo, goku and kougaiji but when they went to dr. ni ,sanzo and homura. Problems occurred.

Lirin: baldy! Stop covering your face!

Zenon: if don't like my make up im telling your master!

Sanzo: OK, OK! There!(uncovering face)

Lirin:…

Yaone: ms. Lirin?

Lirin: who is she? Where's baldy!

Yaone: ms. Lirin. That _is_ sanzo.

Lirin: oh! Hehe

_Click!_

Lirin: next!

Dr. ni: do I look pretty in this pink skirt?

Lirin:uh, yes?

Dr. ni: your just saying that!

Yaone: dr. ni! Stop flattering yourself!

Dr. ni: can my bunny have a carrot?

Lirin: no! now pose!

_Click!_

Homura: if rinrei sees me in this stupid black dress your dead meat!

* * *

In..uh the other heaven.

Rinrei: (gasps) homura..! you look so cute in black!

* * *

Peggysan: yay! Im done at last! Im such a slow typer, you guys really like this? Hey, uhm just asking, is it true that every year there's someone who's going to win cash because of their fan fiction? My friend told me, and she also said that last year's winner was a Chinese girl, her fic was…a fusion of cardcaptor sakura, street fighter and I forgot the other one. Soi if you know about please review me! Its really hard updating at this rate!

sayonara!


	4. Chapter 4

Peggysan: konnichiwa! It's still hard going to school! You know, next time im going to submit stories, I have to have a lot of Ideas, and I must be fast at typing. Which story am I going to write faster first? Im freakin out I don't know what to do!and I was thinking about doing a crossover..but, I don't know what am I going to crossover ! I know saiyuki very well, except..i haven't seen reloaded yet, and what's gaiden?

Ok, in this story im running out of crazy ideas because first of all im not really that crazy! Ahh!... I don't own saiyuki…

**Saiyuki's next mr. handsome:**

Judging time….

Gyokumen:uuhh… who's this girl? I thought were suppose to judge HOT guys!

Yaone: ms gyokumen, that's hakkai, were judging them how they look pretty as girls.

Gyokumen: oh…I knew that, ok, hakkai looks like.-

(kanan suddenly appeared)

Kanan: hakkai? Where? (gasps).. who's that girl! Is he hitting in her!..(wetty eyes, then covering her mouth and nose as if crying) h-hakkai..i-I thought we had something special together and now…

Judges:….

Kanan: …your hitting on this girl…that looks exactly like you!

Kanzeon: oh please stop the drama! That _is_ hakkai!

Kanan: N-NANI! Are you sure? That must be his Identical sister! Hakkai is not gay!

Gyokumen: this is just a contest! on who's hotter! My rude but totally hot step-son or the other HOT guys!

Kanan: hmph! (going out to find hakkai)

_SLAM! (door shut)_

Lirin: hey! Stop saying that oni-chan's hot!

Kanzeon: its true isnt it? you could even be his girlfriend, since your not really siblings.

Lirin: (turning slightly red) hey! Oni-chan is my brother! I don't care if his not my real brother! Besides, he already likes yaone-san!

Yaone: (blushing really red)_ kougaiji-sama likes me! Dreams do come true!_ …Uh,ms. Lirin! don't say something like that to your brother!

Lirin:..sorry..(pouting)

Gyokumen: ok! Next picture!

Yaone: ok, next is goku.

Lirin: g-goku! Where? (looking at goku's picture.)_wow..even though his a girl there, he's soo…handsome.. _

Gyokumen: wow..for a heretic he kinda looks cute in this pic.

Kanzeon: yeah, just like old times..

Yaone: goku's in! next is dr. ni..

Gyokumen: God, Ni! He should have shaved! He looks like a cross dresser!

Kanzeon: hm, I say, he still looks like a guy here..

Yaone: so..dr. ni is out?

Kanzeon and gyokumen: yes!

Yoane: (sigh) _I knew he would be out._

Kanzeon: whoa! Konzen! Your soo… well pretty! Even though you didn't smile but. beautiful!

Gyokumen: yeah, for a monk he's really..suprisingly HOT! I love being a judge!

Yaone: (sweatdroop)anoo.. sanzo-san is in!

Lirin: who's this?

Yaone: (sigh) I told you he's sanzo!

Lirin: oh…and who is this sanzo?..

Yaone:..nevermind..

Gyokumen: (looking at the pic of homura) homura looks good in this dress..not bad

Kanzeon: _when I go back to heaven I might want to spend a little time with him..!_ yes, he's quite fine!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hakkai: (singing a weird song)..im more handsome.. than you!(pointing to homura)

Homura: he's gone loco.. (other guys nodding their heads)

Hakkai: (singing again, this time he looks like a stripper dancing)co'z (standing up) im, too sexy for your shirt , too sexy for your car too sexy for your -

Kanan: hakkai? What are you doing!

Hakkai:..k-kanan! Your alive!(hugging kanan)

Kanan: stop…cant…breath…!

Hakkai: (letting go) oh..sorry..

Kanan: why are you wearing a dress!( showing the pic)

Hakkai: do you like it?

Kanan: answer!

Hakkai:.ok! you see I got in this , who's the next mr. handsome thing..and we were pictured as girls for the contest..

Kanan:..oh!.. im sooooo sorry I thought you were gay! Well, I gotta go..oh and sanzo?

Sanzo: what..

Kanan: I like your yellow dress! Bye! (disappeared)

Sanzo: why.. you! (shooting gun)

_BANG! BANG!_

Hakkai: sanzo! Noo!

Sanzo: (calming himself)…next time..tell her to keep her thoughts to herself!..!

Goku: sanzo!(running to sanzo) lookie!(showing a package to sanzo)

Sanzo: so!

Goku: it's a package ! for me!

Gojyo: from who?

Goku: (reading) n-na-nata-ku.. its from nataku!

Homura: nataku! He didn't send me anything?

Gojyo: well..OPEN IT!

Goku: ok!( tearing the package)

(box suddenly opened!)

Pink haired girl: konnichiwa-su!

The guys are shock seeing a girl get out on such a small box..

Goku: nataku sent me a girl!

Gojyo: don't like her? I'll be glad to date her!

Pink-haired girl: my name is misha! And im going to be part of your next pictorial-su!

Homura: really? What's next?

Misha: were dressing up as bunnies!

Kougaiji: who's bloody idea was this in the first place!

(Judges coming out of the judging room..)

Kanzeon:(looking at misha) oh hi! I see nataku sent her already!

Gyokumen: who is she?

Kanzeon: that's misha, she's going to be the girl in their next pictorial.. as bunnies!

Dr. ni: bunnies! Where?

Misha: (gasps) a bunny! (grabs dr. ni's bunny)

Dr. ni: HEY!(grabs his dear bunny but instead theyre having a bunny-o-war)

Misha:..nngghh..give me cute bunny-su!

Dr.ni: NEVER!...nngghh….its..MINE!

(misha let go, and forced dr.ni to fall down hard..on his butt)

_Thump!_

Dr. ni: OW! My butt!..at least my bunny is safe..

Misha: (crossing her arms) hmph! Your sssooo mean-su!

Yaone:ok! (claps hand twice) we'll start the elimination!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Elimination…..

Yaone: misha-san? Would you like to read?

Misha: hai! (gets paper)..ok..uh, the winner of the girl pictorial is..sanzo!

Sanzo: _I won? its because I look better on a yellow dress, make up and a stuffy wig!_ I hate this game……

Misha: 2nd is goku!

Goku: yipee!

Lirin: YEAH! GO GOKU!.._oh-no…this is not a good sign…every body is looking at me.._

Everybody looking at lirin..because she accidentally blurted out stupid but sweet things…

Goku:..uh lirin?..do you have a crush on me?

Gojyo: the monkey has understood! It's a miracle!

Lirin:uuhh…why would I h-have(red,red,red blushy, blush..heart beating fast!) a c-c-c-..

Goku: crush?

Lirin:c-crush..o-on y-you…(heart beating really fast blushing really red) i-i..(fainted)

Kougaiji: lirin!(picks up lirin) yaone!

Yaone: h-hai!

Kougaiji: bring lirin, to her room, let goku carry her!

Goku: (blushing) w-why me!

Sanzo: because you started this..its your fault lirin has a crush on you!

Goku: (pouting) fine! I'll carry her..(kougaiji giving goku lirin. Then goku looked at lirin) _sh-she's actually not that…ok! She's pretty and cute!_

Lirin: …m-meatbuns!

Yaone: (sweatdrop) ok, goku be careful of lirin.. come I'll show you her room..

Misha:..WOW.. that was sooo romantic-su!..ok, 3rd is hakkai!

Hakkai: oh yeah, oh yeah im good! You guys are not that sexy! Hahahaha! Im too sexy for you!

To be continued…..

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Peggysan: wow, I never noticed how long I wrote this.im still thinking..well, its still hard to go to any internet connection! Its almost class time and I wont have time to write ! oh and misha is from pita ten! She's really cute, and she loves bunnies! But I wont write when school comes no!...sad…isnt it..

Sanzo:that's good news. You wont have to make crazy stuff! About me! The others that's just fine with me but if you write crazy drabbles about me that is not even true..WATCH OUT!

Peggysan: alam mo, ang sama mo! Pero, ok lang sa akin kasi mahal na mahal kita! Ang pogi pogi mo talaga!

Sanzo:..what did you say?.. I don't understand?

Peggysan: yeah, I know but the filipinos can.! Hahaha!

Sayonara!


End file.
